Disclaimer: I’ve worked in both Corporate America and hospitals, so I know what it feels like to want to quit your useless job.

My Time In Insurance

When I worked in the insurance business, I was fascinated by how meaningless my job was. Entire weeks would roll by, and I would question if I was actually doing anything. In fact, on one day when I knew my boss was going to be out of town, I didn’t even show up to the office (I didn’t get fired afterwards). My job was a joke, and when I talked about my feelings with coworkers, most of them shared my sentiment. The reason they stayed, though, was that their office jobs provided benefits. They had kids and needed health insurance!

My coworkers and I were playing a game of charades. We knew layoffs could happen at any moment, so we had to pretend to be busy in an attempt to keep our jobs if the ax ever fell. We were busy doing nothing to protect our sorry jobs.

The Tricks People Use To Look Good

I’ve learned that people in office jobs try to look good by doing any of the following (with my commentary on how I’d handle such actions in my insurance job):

-holding conference calls (I would jack off during these moments of “dissemination” of information)

-sending emails to create more work (I would join the fun, maximizing my gayness by using exclamation points whenever possible!!)

-holding useless meetings (see the conference calls section)

-sending emails late at night to look busy (if I saw one of these, I would go the extra mile in sending an email even later the next day)

-sending emails during the weekend (I never found a way to top this)

Keep in mind that people HAVE to do these activities because otherwise there would be no work. The perverse reality is that if you’re in an office job and you look bored, you will be the next person to get a pink slip when the next wave of layoffs come. In other words, office jobs don’t encourage productivity; rather, office jobs encourage posturing and “looking good.”

So here’s the dilemma: if you stay in your “cush” office job, you will continue to do routine, meaningless things (like sending emails to create more work) for up to 40 hours/week, which amounts to one third of your adult life. This is actually extremely depressing and may cause you to slit your own throat. If not, you’ll likely try to find meaning in another career, such as nursing. But should you really make the jump? Let’s look at the numbers.

-What is it like in medicine? According to Forbes, six percent of doctors are happy with their jobs. Over half are unsure they would recommend the practice of medicine to young people.

-What’s it like in nursing? 83% of nurses say they are satisfied with their choice of nursing as a career (report can be downloaded at https://www.amnhealthcare.com/survey-of-registered-nurses-2017/).

-What’s it like to have a job in America, in general? The Conference Board reports that 53 percent of Americans are currently unhappy at work.

So there you go. It appears that nursing is associated with higher rates of job satisfaction when compared to other careers in general. So yes, if you make the jump from Corporate America to nursing, you’ll likely find the pasture to be greener. But it’s important to be clear on the negatives of nursing, which I write about here.

Hedging Against Disappointment

There’s no simple way to have a meaningful career. If there was, you’d probably have a meaningful career right now.

What I can offer, however, are a couple pieces of nursing mental technology that will help you in moments of disillusionment, when you are most likely thinking “Oh hell no, I didn’t sign up for this!”

-Always keep in mind that the endpoint of becoming a nurse is to get paid. You will be no different from a salesman, dentist, or plumber who shows up at a site for money. The only difference is that the service you will be providing will be called Nursing.

-Nursing is NOT an uplifted career. Nursing is NOT a calling. Nursing is simply a way to put money into your bank account. Disagree? Then just ask yourself: would you provide nursing services for free? Would you wipe the anus of another man on a volunteer basis?

-Recognize that the complaints you have about your office job are pervasive. That is, the murmuring going on in your head will likely continue when you become a nurse.

The only reason I recommend a nursing career over a career in Corporate America is that nursing offers job security. As such, you are protected from the compulsive need to “look good” or fake productivity. In other words, in nursing, you will no longer have to send emails at 4pm to burn time and impress your boss!