“How are you Walt? I’m Trisha,” said a strange white girl.

     I turned around with surprise. Trisha’s  smile was almost as big as her tits.

     “I’m great! How do you know my name?” I replied.

     “I saw your name badge when you weren’t looking,” she flirted.

     Even though I liked Trisha’s bust line, I couldn’t stand her aggressive personality. Worst of all, her breath smelled like shit. I was honestly thinking of giving her some hotel toothpaste.

     I pretended to be interested in the conversation, rather than just running away. I smiled and nodded the entire time Trisha droned on (and on and on).

     What does my conversation with Trisha have anything to do with interviews? The whole point is that I knew within the first 10 seconds if I wanted to talk with Trisha. In reality, my mind screamed “run away!” the moment I saw Trisha smile with her yellow teeth. Similarly, female directors know (almost instantly) if they like you right when they first interact with you. Therefore, this entire blog post is dedicated to how you should act in the first 90 seconds of meeting a female director.

     The most important thing I can tell you is that women make their hiring decisions within 90 seconds of meeting you. For women, hiring decisions are less analytical than emotional. In other words, when female directors meet you, the question they ask is “do I like this guy?” instead of “can this guy do the job?”

     That said, you won’t hear bullshit advice about needing a firm handshake or making sure your breath doesn’t stink. To be honest, I’ve taken the “firm handshake” technique too far. One time, a director literally said “OUCH! That hurt!” while I shook her hand.

     Can you imagine me saying (in my heart): “FUCK! I just lost this job!”

     What you WILL hear, however, is how to be likable.

What Does Forbes Have to Say?

To quote Forbes:

“…33% of hiring managers admit they know within 90 seconds if you’re the person they want to hire (https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashleystahl/2015/11/06/how-to-land-a-job-in-90-seconds/#4021a00a4802).”

     I would take it one step further and say that almost all hiring managers make their decisions in the first 90 seconds. Think about it: it takes courage to reveal that you make hiring decisions super quickly (even though your responses are “anonymous”). Survey responses often don’t reflect reality because people are motivated by looking good. Hiring managers also have zero incentive to reveal the truth about how quickly they make hiring decisions. Therefore, I’d say the “33% statistic” is a gross understatement. Do you really believe that a meager 33% of female hiring managers make their hiring decisions in the first 90 seconds? I’d bet the percentage is closer to 100.

How to Make Her Like You in the First 90 Seconds

     The key is to make your female director laugh/smile, preferably with your first line or first answer to her question.

     You already know what she’s going to ask the first thing she sees you! Therefore, you need to prepare a funny line to answer each of the following questions:

a) How are you?

b) Tell me about yourself

     Let’s start with question A. Instead of saying “I’m good, how are you (you should be bitch-slapped if you say this)?” you should create a little story. For example, you could try: “I’m great! I’m just happy I survived that traffic. I think I just set a record for taking 30 minutes to travel 2 miles.” Alternatively, you could answer the question and then create attraction by making her talk about herself. My favorite line is: “I’m doing great, now that I’m seeing that picture on the wall. Are those your kids?”

     Concerning question B, the same strategy applies. That is, make her laugh with a witty/charming remark. For example, I like to answer question B with: “I’m a certified genius. I got my degree yesterday from the University of Phoenix (insert female smile/laugh here).”

     So is it really that simple? Absolutely not! What makes things complicated is when you’re actually looking at the director in the eye. When you’re live and in person, you might get nervous and self-sabotage with negative self-talk, such as “what if she doesn’t laugh?”

     That’s why you need to prepare your charming/funny remarks in front of a mirror. I like to rehearse each premeditated remark/story in front of a mirror at least five times before my interviews start.

     All that said, it’s a good idea to smile and stick your chest out to portray confidence. The key, though, will still be in your charm.

How Do you Know She Likes You in the First 90 Seconds?

     When doing research for this blog, I came across the a great article from Wikihow.com.

     As of 4/19/18, the article has an average rating of 81% (4 out of 5 stars) among 106 voters. I agreed with most of the article. That said, my experience with female interviewers informs me of the following 3 major signs that she likes you/will hire you.

-She caresses her hair or plays with her hair. The beauty of her playing with her hair is that it’s completely driven by her subconscious mind. That is, women play with their hair spontaneously when they feel attraction, just as men get erections spontaneously when they feel attraction. Evolutionarily speaking, her playing with her hair is an attempt to look good for you. So if you see your interviewer playing with her hair or grooming herself in any way, it’s a very good sign she likes you and will therefore hire you.

-She laughs nervously or laughs at the non-funny stuff you say. Nervous laughter is an incredible tell-tale sign. She likes you, so her subconscious mind induces her to laugh in an attempt to stroke you.

-She only asks you a few questions before offering to give you a tour. At the subconscious level, she has already accepted you and is willing to show you her abode. That is, she is ready to open up to you and extend the job offer so you can join her.

     Ultimately, women are attracted to men who portray confidence. It’s useless for me to tell you to just be confident (which is similar to me telling you to just make a million dollars). I think it is useful, though, for me to show you how I make women laugh. Your confidence in being charming will go a long way in creating attraction.

     Speaking of confidence, there’s another way to portray your manliness:  say exactly what you want. 

     Now go out there and kill it!